SIGNS

You know, life has a way of just driving a point home. Some of us, apparently, need to be beat over the head... or just open to all the possibilities. The last 6 or 7 months, I have been tested... and tested... and tested again. At first, I fought it with everything I had. As stubborn and hard-headed as I am, I am quite a force. Recently, with events in my life, I have taken the approach to go with it. I don't mean, not be active in my choices, but to not let it get to me. I make that choice... it is my choice. Perceptions begin within... it is the foundation of who we are... as souls, as humans. Perceptions can also change, grow, mature... and find a place to bloom. This concept applies to both positive and negative. As babies, we are born with more love and knowledge than we can possibly know what to do with. As life progresses we have great potential to lose it. I was taught to suck it up... and move on.... no crying... just do it... whatever is necessary. I was so little and didn't know any different. Because I was not taught to process, anything really, good or bad, I just sucked it up... and left it in my soul to grow. What grew inside of me was sadness, anger, frustration, rebellion, fear, untrusting, etc... I didn't like myself, much less love myself. Four years ago, I made the decision: It only affects me because I allow it. It was time to let it all go... and an even harder process because there was so much, but one I was definitely ready to conquer. I realized that for as strong as I am to be the negative, I am just as strong, if not stronger, for the positive. To allow Love to grow in my soul, that I am precious and beyond price. That I am worth and deserve all of my hopes and dreams. Every soul on this Earth is worth and deserves the very same thing, yet what we are born with, we lose, and somehow, if we are really lucky and blessed, we find it again. I have learned so much about forgiveness, compassion, trust, love, how we affect others in our daily lives. Lately, life has been quite a carousel ride. The downs, I am getting better at dealing with and with my approach, and the ups, I am learning to enjoy and live in the moment. Quite honestly, it's those moments that help us get through the lows.
I read my daily horoscope, daily number, and daily card on Tarot.com. Lately, it has just been right on to what is going on in my life or where it is I want it to go. Yesterday, my sister, Beth, and I were talking about the Chicken Soup for the Soul creators and how their compilations have made such a difference in so many lives. I had remembered a show about that on Montel. We hung up the phone, and I was leaving for the store when I walked out onto my porch, a little bluebird was out there... waiting for me... I stood maybe 6 inches from him expecting him to fly away, but instead he sat there looking up at me and chirping... and he would fluff out his wings and chirp some more... this lasted about 7 or 8 minutes... I wouldn't move until he flew away... the sign telling me to spread my wings and fly... Bluebirds of happiness... I smiled and wished him well as he flew away. This morning, I go to Tarot.com and my daily card is the Fool, innocence to wisdom, to let go of expectations and trust your instincts. I ended up being home today, spending it with my daughter, Emma, and guess what show is on Montel? It was the repeat of the show with Jack Canfield. So, apparently, I have been so scared... and I am being beat over the head... how many signs does one person need... haha... They all tell me.... to trust myself, those in my life... to love with all of my soul... and my dreams are coming... am I ready? I am sure I am...

All in time

Today, I have created a new outlet. I had a blog here once before as part of a composition class project. Needless to say, I have long since forgotten that password. Age has not been my friend... haha. It's funny that we live in a society that finds it easier to type than to write... there is so much inside of me... but the time to write and let it out just doesn't seem to be there. So, here I am...